Colour of Sorrow
by Mocha MintCocoa
Summary: All over his life, Antonio has only wanted to do something for others. Is it wrong to finally desire over someone—who is even ten years younger than him? -Spamano


To start... Let me tell you something that must have bugged you guys from the summary, if you decide to see the story anyway.

1. **A ten-year age difference is not something you can call as paedophilia.** (Apparently, there're people who don't understand that) Paedophilia is attraction to children under age, so understand the difference?

2. Regarding that matter, although Romano will start with the age of 12, I assure you** I won't make him all ~dokidoki~ to Spain immediately**. There will be time, several years later, but of course, not now.

If you have understood, please, you may proceed. I will not tolerate any of reviews saying that I should delete this because I write the term pedo or some kind like that. **NEIN**.

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**A/N:** My first Spamano. This story is a bit related to my other story, 'Do You Hear My Voice?' (they share the same AU), but this can be read separately, don't worry ^^ I'm a bit worried about this, I hope it's not too OOC...

Eh...and for the title, for the very first time I actually listen to google translate. I hope it doesn't screw up... (which it always do OTL). If someone could do a better translation, please tell me!

Italian translation provided by Waytomuchadoaboutnothing. No, it's not from google translate. :) Also, Femke is Belgium. That name sounds pretty cute...

Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz and the 'Colour of Sorrow' belongs to the site rengoku-teien.

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哀しみの色彩  
(Kanashimi no Shikisai)

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_Colour of Sorrow_

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**1.**

Antonio didn't know that being a volunteer at the orphanage could be this exhausting. He liked children, of course, and the children there seemed to like him a lot, but still, they're kids. Noisy and overactive, couldn't stay still and quiet for just a minute. He decided to take a day off and enjoyed himself before going back to work and school tomorrow, so he paid his neighbour two stories down a visit.

He looked at Elizabeta—who worked as a nurse at the local hospital with her fiancée as the doctor (who coincidentally was Antonio's quiet but grumpy Austrian childhood friend)—shifting through the card racks to find something.

"Being a volunteer sure is exhausting, don't you think?" she offered him a tired smile, which Antonio replied with a (tired) smile, too. "They like you so much, Antonio. Huh, I just didn't think that the course you took at university last year was apparently useful."

"I _knew_ it was useful, Elizabeta, so I took it," Antonio frowned, reaching for the glass of water placed on the table. What was wrong taking Children Psychology for his extra course? "How's the hospital?"

The woman sighed desperately. "Alfred broke his arm today. Apparently Gilbert is trying to teach him to fly or something. What does he think Alfred is, his pet?" She grumbled, her face decorated with both angry and concerned frown. "I'm surprised the hospital hasn't fired him yet."

Antonio gave her a short laugh. "Oh my god. I can't say anything, Elizabeta, you know it's Gilbert whom we are talking about," he took a sip at this water and continued, "but I think I should tell him not to teach anything dangerous like that."

"I'm going to smack him next time I meet that stupid doctor. Or maybe a dose of paralysis to make him unable to move for a day," Elizabeta grumbled again, her fingers' movement became more and more frantic. Antonio was looking at him with a little fear and worry when suddenly his phone rang.

"Yes?"

"A-Antonio, could you come to work today?" Tino's voice, a volunteer at the orphanage sounded so worried on the phone. "I-I think I—_we_ need your help."

Antonio scrunched his eyebrows, glancing at the digital clock on Elizabeta's desk. It read _13.34_ in thick, luminescent green shining a bit dim from all the lights from the window. "Aah, Tino, I'm taking a day off today..." he said, signalling Elizabeta to stay quiet when she glanced curiously at him.

"I know, but..." Tino was cut off by a sound of loud _crash!_ on the background, followed by a string of curse in language Antonio could not catch clearly. "Please, Antonio! We can't control him here!"

"Control who?" the Spanish man was now standing from his seat, bidding Elizabeta goodbye after mouthing a silent 'emergency' before exiting the apartment.

"The new children! Two Italian siblings, remember?" The sounds were starting to get noisier and Antonio could hear the voice of the tall, intimidating Swedish volunteer, Berwald, grunting a curse as the strings of profanities continued. "The eldest one can't be—oh my god!" More crashing sounds were heard over the phone. "Please, please, Antonio! Help us!" he said desperately.

"Okay, okay! I'll be there as quickly as I can!" Antonio was now running out from the apartment complex, heading towards the nearest bus stop he usually took to get to the orphanage before cutting the line. Tino was usually very good with children, like Antonio. Any children would even tremble in fear upon seeing Berwald (at the beginning usually, but as the time went, they usually found out that Berwald was not as intimidating as he looked like). If they had even to call Antonio, there must be something very urgent about it.

Anyhow, it's Antonio's job to get to the orphanage now and fast. He could think about any possibilities later.

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There was a huge commotion when Antonio finally arrived at the orphanage, sweat drenched thirty minutes later. It usually took only fifteen minutes by bus, but Antonio thought that it was currently hating him as it broke halfway, forcing him to run his way through. He looked around to see some smaller children playing around, with the bigger children watching over them, making sure that anyone didn't do anything careless or harm the other.

"What happened, Vash?" Antonio asked the oldest orphan there, currently watching his sister Lili playing around with other children like a hawk.

Vash looked away briefly from his sister before answering. "I think Mister Väinämöinen has called you earlier, right?"

Antonio nodded briefly, worry flashed in his green eyes. "Yes, he mentioned something about the Italian siblings. Is there something urgent? I heard crashes over the phone..."

Vash sighed tiredly. "The eldest seems to be a bit... rash and uncontrollable. He attacked Mister Oxenstierna with the crystal vase earlier, but thankfully it missed just in time before crashing."

"Oh, _mi dios_," Antonio whispered, running a hand on his dark chocolate locks. "Where is he now? How about the younger one, then?"

"Mister Väinämöinen locks him in the back room and then asks me to bring the children out here," Vash said, "As for the younger... Ah, there he is. Feliciano Vargas," Vash pointed at the auburn-haired boy whom Antonio had never seen before, currently pushing a girl on the swing as they laughed openly. "It seems that they speak a language nearly similar to Spanish, so I think that's why Mister Väinämöinen thinks you can probably understand and console him."

Antonio nodded in understanding before heading inside, straight to the corridor where the back room lied. It was usually used for storing toys and used clothes, sometimes donations from the communities. It was so dark, save for a dim, yellow bulb that was already been there for God-knew-when. He met Tino and Berwald in front of the room, the smaller man pacing back and forth and Berwald nursing his plastered cheek.

"Tino?" Although Antonio thought that he had called slowly, the other seemed to be so surprised and he jumped.

"O-Oh! Antonio, good gracious! Thank you for coming!" Tino smiled awkwardly, biting his lip as he glanced at the door, probably expecting some commotions that didn't come. "I'm so sorry for calling you at your day off, but... I think you can probably understand him. He's speaking in his native language, and I know nothing about Italian! Spanish is the closest language, so..."

"That's alright, Tino. Calm down," Antonio chuckled, patting the smaller man's back comfortingly and gave him a reassuring smile. "Have you brought the necessary documents for their transfer here?"

"In th' office," Berwald grunted. "Need 'em?"

Antonio nodded. "Yes, please. Thank you very much, and can you please tell Femke to run a hot meal for the siblings as well? I think they can be excused early for today only."

Tino cocked his head to the side in confusion, but didn't question if further. Together with Berwald he walked away from the back room, heading towards the East Wing side.

Antonio sighed. If this child even flung a vase to Berwald, whom everyone (even some of the children still) were afraid of, he doubted that he would be safe when he tried to console him. Making up his mind, he turned the key and unlocked the door, pushing it open so slightly to peek inside.

The room was poorly lit, and dusts flew around as Antonio swung the door open. He coughed while searching the child with his eyes.

There he was; sitting in the corner of the room, backing the door, with all those huge boxes hiding his slim body. He was auburn-haired much like Feliciano, though it was a shade darker. Antonio couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep judging by the way he sat, so he opted to approach him and gave him a soft call not to surprise him. "Hey."

But he didn't respond.

Antonio scrunched his eyebrows, walking closer. "Um, excuse me?" he called, but still he got no response from the other. Exasperated, he tried shaking his shoulders. "Can you hear me?"

"_Lascia me e mio fratello da soli, bastardo!*_" The boy suddenly barked in anger, whipping his head around it nearly smacked with Antonio's, making the older man fell towards the dirty floor.

"Uwah, c-calm down!" Antonio said, holding both of his hands in front in the act of calming the enraged boy down as he tried to decipher what he tried to say; that didn't sound even close to Spanish! With very limited vocabulary, he spoke silently, "Um... So, 'let brother and me...just...bastard'?"

It took a moment before suddenly Antonio received a smack on head. "Ooow! That fucking hurts!" he whined, forgetting to keep his certain vocabularies hidden around children as he looked back with teary eyes at the brunette. He saw the other's chocolate eyes began to glimmer in frustration as the other barked, "Idiot!" at him.

Antonio blinked once, twice, his lips began to twitch upwards. "Ah, please, no need to be so enraged," he motioned the other to sit beside him. The other stomped much like a five-year-old before he sat at the spot where Antonio had gestured him to, and the Spanish instantly pulled him into a hug, which surprisingly came without much struggle. Antonio sighed before starting.

"So, who is your name, little one?"

Antonio heard murmurs before auburn head lifted to see him straight in the eyes. "What?"

"...your name?" Antonio fought the confusion that began to overwhelm him. He was sure that he had said the question aloud, and the room was eerily quiet besides their own breathing, which came in soft puffs, nearly inaudible.

"...Lovino Vargas," the boy, Lovino, finally answered. "Where is my _fratello_?" he asked, his voice came in husky whisper.

"He in the playground, playing with other kids. Don't worry, the others are so nice! They will allow your brother to play with them!" he said reassuringly, smiling widely at the younger. Lovino blinked.

"Allow... my brother... play?"

Antonio nodded. "Now, if we're done here... Would you mind some hot meal and a nice bath before I show you and your brother around here? You can sleep with Femke tonight, as the beds for you two haven't been readied," he let Lovino out his lap, stood up and guided the younger outside the room, towards the dining. The other just followed quietly behind, now looked so frail and tired and Antonio wondered what had happened to him.

Feliciano had been seated on one of the plastic chairs and was currently gobbling down a bowl of macaroni soup when they arrived. The younger Vargas instantly looked up when he heard the door opened and dropped his spoon when he saw his brother. "_F-Fratello!_" he shrieked, hopping from his chair and cried. "Oh, _fra_—"

Fortunately, Femke, the Belgic housekeeper at the orphanage caught him at the right time when the younger was trying to flee from his meal. "Oh, no, no. Finish your meal first before you can talk to your brother. He needs food too, after all."

"B-But brother—!"

"There is no buts in here. The rules still apply," Femke said, lifting the small boy and placed him in front of his macaroni soup bowl again. "Now, Antonio, would you be so glad to sit him near little Felici and I'll fetch him a bowl of hot macaroni soup?"

"Sure!" the dark-haired man nodded as Femke disappeared into the kitchen. "Now, sit near your brother. Femke will soon come back with your meal. Don't hesitate if you want to ask for more!" he said to Lovino, who was looking at Feliciano with unreadable eyes before walking towards the table and chose to sit beside the younger. They chatted in rapid Italians for a while, which Antonio could not understand a single thing, and the conversation stopped when Femke came with another bowl. Lovino must be so hungry he quickly ate without much ado, and Femke smiled at Antonio.

"Go on," she said. "I'll make sure the boys are ready at four. You have some other business to work at, right?" she winked playfully, and Antonio tried to cover his blush with a smile.

"Thank you!" he said, before exiting the dining room with a slam, leaving the siblings with Femke for a while. He first had to know what was wrong with Lovino, the eldest.

.

The files had been neatly placed by Tino in the office table, but the two were beyond sight. Antonio took the files with him and sat on one of the sofa, opening the first that read '_Feliciano Vargas'_ on it. It contained several pieces of paper full of Feliciano's data printed on, and a page full of short biography. The youngest Vargas was just nine years old, too small and slim for a child on his age, and it looked like that the Vargas' didn't raise their children too well.

There wasn't much worth looking, so Antonio opened the second file, '_Lovino Vargas'_ written in front. Unlike Feliciano's, Lovino's biography was much longer, with records from school and teachers, and there were several extra papers and a newspaper clipping inserted along. He took a look on the biography, and at least they provided more information on the Vargas family. Apparently, the children's father was unemployed and a heavy drinker with terrible attitude, and he often released his anger towards their mother. The newspaper clipping was a piece about the murder case of a housewife, which suspect was none other than her husband; it was a talk around some time ago, but Antonio had no idea at all that it was the Vargas'.

The information about Lovino himself was not much detailed. He turned twelve along as his brother turned nine just last two months (they were not twins, but they shared the same birthday, Antonio realised with a smile), and he was known with an ill-temper much like his own father, only much more harmless and he only did so when there was something that he sensed as danger to his brother and himself.

Something piquing Antonio's interest was that the newspaper clipping was not the only one provided information for the murder. He raised his eyebrows at the police report, dated almost two years ago, with the details of cause of death of the victim and reason to arrest Mr. Vargas. However, in the small column on the bottom of the page that read 'additional', he found something.

'_...confirmed child abuse and murder. Will be sentenced to death.'_

_Child abuse?_ The older man thought, scrunching his eyebrows and shifted through the other papers, looking for something, a doctor prescription, anything. It was only a white sheet of paper, but what was written on it was enough to make Antonio felt like retching.

_Patient: Lovino Vargas_

_A blow on both sides of head ruptured his eardrums and made him unable to hear permanently.  
Wounds confirmed as glass shards, from probably a bottle._

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* In case if some of you don't know, the nerves of hearing are placed directly about the back until above your ear, so a very hard blow on those areas can make you deaf, whether from your nerves damaged (this will need a very, very hard blow) or eardrums ruptured. Either way, you still can't hear normally anymore, being totally or partially deaf. Same case is the back of your head, right above the neck is hit—you'll be temporarily blind.

* _Lascia me e mio fratello da soli, bastardo! – _Leave me and my brother alone, bastard! **EDITED** because apparently the original is wrong too... OTL


End file.
